I’ve recently been obsessing over psycho-cybernetics (science term for your brain's autopilot) and I’ve realis ed that it explains why some people can have the time of their lives on £20 while others blow £200 and still feel empty. It's not about the money… it's about your self-image.
If you see yourself as someone who needs expensive experiences to feel worthy, your brain will literally sabotage budget-friendly fun. It'll make free activities feel "cheap" and paid experiences feel "necessary."
The answer lies is in something totally unexpected: being a low-maintenance person.
So here’s my 3-step framework on how to be a low maintenance girl this summer, without feeling cheap.
𝜗ৎ In this issue:
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The psychology behind expensive summers:
External validation seeking = endless spending loop (new outfit for every event, expensive restaurants for social media, premium everything to "look the part")
Identity confusion = using purchases to figure out who you are instead of becoming who you want to be first
Scarcity mindset = "I HAVE to do this now or I'll miss out" (even when you don’t have the money)
The low-maintenance advantages:
Internal validation = confidence comes from habits, not purchases
Clear identity = knows what brings joy vs. what brings ego
Abundance mindset = knows and trusts that good times don't require surplus money
3 internal reframes to be low maintenance
Your brain believes what you tell it (no seriously). So start feeding it these to train a low-maintenance mindset:
1. "I'm the person who finds magic in simple moments"
Old script: "If it's free, it's not worth my time"
New reality: Sunset walks, home movie nights, and Sunday market browsing become your favourite activities
2. "My energy is my currency, not my bank card"
Old script: "I have to spend money to have a good time"
New reality: You bring a memory to be made, not your budget. People remember how you made them feel, not what you paid for
3. "I create experiences, I don't buy them"
Old script: "I need the perfect setup/outfit/venue for memories"
New reality: Your presence and creativity turn any moment into core memory material
Remember, being wealthy and creating wealthy experiences has nothing to do with money.
5 identity-based activities to rewire your brain
This is how you rewire your self-image at the subconscious level so that low-cost/free activities genuinely feel satisfying instead of like you're settling or being cheap.
Identity-based activities like these work because they:
Create new neural pathways that associate pleasure with simple/free experiences
Build internal validation systems so you stop needing external purchases to feel good about yourself
Establish new "evidence" for your brain about who you are (someone who finds joy in simple things)
The activities:
✨ Morning ritual redesign: Create a 20-minute (no more) DREAM routine that makes you feel like the main character (journaling, stretching, skincare)
✨ Energy audit: List what actually energises you vs. what you think should energise you
✨ Skill stack summer: Pick one thing to get obsessed with (guitar, language, coding, photography)
✨ Connection over consumption: Plan friend dates around activities, not purchases
✨ Document differently: Focus on capturing feelings, not just Instagram moments (putting the photo in your Notes app and labelling the feeling is great for this)
The key difference here in rewiring your mindset to be low maintenance vs just doing things:
Activity-based approach: "Do cheap things to save money" (feels like restriction)
Identity-based approach: "Become the person who genuinely enjoys simple pleasures" (feels like actual change)
When you consistently engage in these activities, your self-image shifts from "I'm someone who needs expensive experiences" to "I'm someone who creates magic from simple moments." Then your brain stops fighting your budget.
It's basically hacking your psychology so that living within your means feels natural and not forced.
Something to try this week: Pick one reframe above and test it for 7 days. Notice how your spending impulses start to shift when your identity does.
Read: Psycho-Cybernetics, on how to change your self-image and be whoever you want to be in life
Try: eating more liver! (don’t hate me but… I’m going to be making Nando’s chicken liver next week to get more nutrients in my diet)
Listen: Emma Grede with Grace Beverley - SO inspiring, as a Virgo I am obsessed with Libra’s over-indexing on action taking and high self-esteem
Welcome to the first of a series I’ve been very excited to write: a deep dive into exactly how the women we admire have built their wealth, net worth and confidence.
We’re kicking off with someone who inspires me greatly: Emma Emma; founding partner of Skims, co-founder of Good American, Safely and Off Season, entrepreneur and mother of four.
Let’s examine the moves she made throughout her career and how exactly these increased her net worth: from dropping out of college, to realising the importance of equity early, and exactly what we can learn from someone like Emma when it comes to building our own bank accounts and net worth.
𝜗ৎ In this blueprint:
See you in the comments,
— Dev xo
